Doesn’t the title sound more like “Main aur meri tanhai”(tr: Me & My Solitude) from the Classic film Silsila(1981). Well I am no Gulzar saab so don’t even think about it. It just about Me & My heart. Interested? Read on.
It was a ‘normal’ Friday like any other weekend I played Table Tennis(Ping Pong) for a long time after office and returned home as usual. Like every Friday night I was looking forward for ‘late night’ sessions but I felt very tired maybe too much of TT and it was gruelling week as well work wise. So instead usual stuff like TV or computer I hit the sack.
I was lying for sometime but sleep seemed to elude me, actually it happens if you try to sleep early on a Friday night. But I was not having the energy to get up so I lied down. In order to make myself fall asleep I started counting in mind 1,2,3….100…200… lost patience started reverse count 200…100…reached 1 but still no sleep. So I started remembering my Gods Shiva, Krishna, Ma Durga, Baba Lokenath etc ….by now my mind was going haywire with frustration and my heart started responding by beating faster. It happens my heart is very responsive it beats faster whether its a hottie or a grumpy manager or in slog-overs of KKR/India. But hey there were no such ‘exciting’ moments so why was it racing? I ignored because at that point my heart was not important my sleep was.
I could hear Bahadur( our area night watchman – the Jaagte Raho guy) blowing his whistle and hitting the lampposts with his stick to drive away the ‘demons’. That meant it was around 1.30 AM. My heart was actually going really fast and was feeling breathless and I was clueless. I was trying different postures but nothing was comforting and I was actually feeling hot and sweating though the fan was on. Now I felt time to wake-up others as things didn’t seem OK as I was feeling hungry and sweating profusely now and I felt it was the end of my story. But I didn’t want to disturb my parents and hoped that things will be fine.
But Dil hai ki manta hi nahi(tr: Heart is not listening), BTW heart never listens right. After much dilemma I slowly woke up my mom as she has sleeping pills and asked her for them. She was surprised and asked if anything was wrong I just said that I unable to sleep so. But you know a mom she would sense and prodded for the reason of sleeplessness. I calmly said nothing just a little palpitation as it already 3 Am and no sleep. She quickly gave me a pill said to take half and gave a tablet to put under my tongue to reduce the palpitations. After sometime still the situation was not under control she gave me the other half sleeping pill and came to my bed and started caressing my chest and praying after all it was her son’s matter of heart. This time things seemed to work maybe that what mothers are for and didnot know when sleep finally overpowered my heart, mind and body.
to be continued…..