The dreary stubbled face is back

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WordPress bloggers or blogs that support gravatar must have started seeing the depressing stubble face again on their blogs and the rest are seeing the name and the familiar url. Yes! I am back( music please). I have kept my promise and was completely absent from the wired world so much so that didn’t answer your comments even!(a grave sin).

Meanwhile within this time loads and loads of posts have flown under the blogsville which my google reader has been diligently recording, the current count says 430 unread posts. So as I clear the mountain of posts reading and commenting it will be some time before you see posts in this blog :D. And yes I have a lot to talk about. Last obviously not least it was very reassuring to see a post wanting you back soon :), a post awarding you awards and the blog receiving traffic at a constant rate. Though Indiblogger rank has gone down drastically but that’s temporary we all know.

Note: Was away only three weeks or so… but seems ages…

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The May I Hebb Your Attention Pliss contest

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I was Tagged by Shilpa for this one and had real fun doing it…

The Rules:
1. On your blog, provide a link to the Great Bong’s page, May I Hebb Your Attention Pliss. Embedding the above picture in your blog would be nice but not needed.
The May I Hebb Your Attention Pliss contest
2. Then write down your top 10 Hindi movie lines or top 10 English movie lines (You can do both if you want. Only one set is required for the contest). If you cannot think of top 10, make it top 5. Cannot think of even 5? Make it top 3. No problem. Only restriction: no two lines from same movie. This is done to make it fair for other movies so that they don’t get swamped by Gunda or Loha or Sholay.
3. Tag five friends to do the same.
4. Come over to the comment-space of this post and post your blog’s link so I can go and read it.
Remember: Before starting the tag, paste points 1 and 4 on your blog so that the rules are available to anyone who wishes to pick the tag up from your blog.

So Here’s my Top 10 :

1. “Hum ek baar jite hain, ek baar marte hain, shaadi bhi ek baar hoti hai, aur pyar….ek hi baar hota hai” Sharukh Khan in Kuch Kuch Hota Hai

2. “Kabhi Kabhi Kuch Jeetne Ke Liya Kuch Haar Na Parta Hai, Aur Haar Ke Jeetne Wale Ko Baazigar Kehte Hain”Sharukh Khan in Baazigar

3. “It’s alright Senorita, Bade Bade Deshon Mein, Aisi Choti Choti Baatein Hoti Rahti Hain” Sharukh Khan in Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge

4. “Rahul…naam to suna hoga?”Sharukh Khan in Dil to Pagal Hai

5. “Ki.. Ki.. Ki…Kiran”Sharukh Khan in Darr

6. “Pehli baar kisi gore ko Bharath ka jhanda leharate hue dekh raha hoon” Sharukh Khan in Chak De India

7. “Ye telephone bhi ajeeb cheez hai- aadmi sochta kuch hai, boltha kuch hai, aur karta kuch hai.”Amitabh Bacchan in Agneepath

8. “Yeh Dhai kilo ka haath jab kisipe padtha hai na…toh aadmi ut-tha nahi uthh jaata hai”Sunny Deol in Damini

9. “bhaai,tumko pakkaa yakeen hai na, ki baar-baar andar aane se apun ki ijjat badhegi?”Arshad Warsi in Lage Raho Munnabhai

10. “log katl karne ke liye mujhe dhoondh rahein hain, ladki bhagane ka ilzam mere sir par hain aur mujhe ladki bhi nahi mil rahi hain” Shahid Kapoor in Jab We Met

I tag Pal, Nishita, Ravan, Lakshmi Rajan & Vineeta take it up girls and guys you may not win an iPod but Great Bong’s book maybe(That’s what the prize is by god).

Final Word:  My Name is Dhiman and I am NOT a SRK fan incase you deduce it due to his dominance above. What to do with IPL season just around the corner you have do it at times after all ‘King Khhhhaan’ owns my favorite IPL team :D.

Disclaimer : Some of the above dialogues have been copied from various sites as I could not remember the exact dialogue. Now would you call this plagiarism?

Nothing much has Changed

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Why is that when we visit a place after a gap we plot the change I mean I always do that. Change is then only constant phenomenon and when we are there we don’t register it but if we are away we notice it. Like OMG this apartment wasn’t here last time or look a new restaurant opened up over there or excuse me dada where is the auto stand that used be here or what happened to Chaitali di’s Beauty Parlor over there.

Actually all this talk is because during the initial days of the trip to Kolkata we had gone somewhere and while returning we got down at Esplanade and wanted to take a bus for my home so I was walking towards the bus stand for my place’s bus. My mom called from behind and told “Where are you going? Ask someone from where we will get the bus I think everything has changed Are you sure they still go from where they used to.”

Yes number of things have changed. We were seeing new swanky, state of the art low-floor, wide bodied buses, new flyovers, new roads, new stores/malls/apartments, the traffic jams have grown many folds, roads are crammed with new green colored LPG Auto Rickshaws(which are ‘green’ as well environmentally speaking), nearly non existent night life has improved a great deal I mean much better than Bangalore(I had thought I’ll not drag Bangalore into this but couldn’t resist I apologize Bangaloreans), you get see more profound PDA(Public Display of Affection, yes kissing etc) near Jadavpur University campus.

But we still have the Yellow Ambassador taxis, there are still queues in B. B. D. Bag in the evening for the office babu to return to their homes in minibuses, CSTC bus route No.5 from Howrah  to Garia still exists though now there are many more buses plying, still you get moya, notun gurer(Jaggery) Sandesh/Rosogolla in December, still you wake up to the ‘Sarega regama gamapa’ of the little girl next door doing her daily riyaz with Ganer didimoni(Music teacher), still my cousin is over-stressed about her son’s oncoming Madhyamik(Tenth board exams), still there’s utter chaos, mayhem and disregard for elderly women(my mom had nearly got trampled, had we not pulled her out in time) in Kalighat temple on Saturdays, still its a feast to go shopping at Gariahat (bargains galore), the beauty of bong ladies has not gone away at all.

Strangely ofcourse people were addressing me in Hindi or English and looked surprised to hear impeccable Bengali from me. I am tall(you know that), dark, handsome(ahem I think so) and was sporting a mustache but that does not make me a South Indian I am and will be a Bengali. So what I was little apprehensive to take the seat behind the driver of minibus which used to be most coveted seat earlier.

To cut the long story short four years is too short a time for a city to change its soul. Whatever is happening is cosmetic which is happening to the entire country that’s why we call ourselves the emerging nation. Lastly I would say in Bengali

Tumi bolo sohorta onek bodle geche,
Tui kintu parbi na eke chinte.
Ami boli dhur Kolkata to Kolkatei ache,
khali amay chinte ektu deri korche.

(tr: You say the city has changed a lot
I won’t be able recognize it
I say come on Kolkata is still in Kolkata
just taking a little time to recognize me)

PS: I have deliberately left out Howrah Bridge, Victoria Memorial, Rabindra Sadan or Kolkata’s Trams because my identification of this city is beyond these symbolic landmarks.

Images from http://www.kolkatamusing.com/2007/11/move-over-amby-indigo-is-here.html
http://www.india-tourist-places.com/2008/08/09/south-city-the-biggest-shopping-mall-in-kolkata/

Saga of the Sandwitch Berth

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Before getting any further with the post just have a look at the picture on the left. Do you see the blue arrows pointing something? Yes I am going to talk about that seat or rather berth. Those of you who have traveled by sleeper or AC III-Tier coaches of Indian Railways must know about it rest look at the picture and try to figure out.

The berth is called ‘Middle Berth’ because its in middle simple. Incidentally its the least preferred berth due to obvious reasons. Since the time I have booked railway tickets I have always somehow managed to avoid the berth. This time fate had something else in store and my mother was allotted the dreaded berth. Though could successfully convince one gentleman for the lower berth who had already traded his middle berth with a family that was separated by coaches(Quite complex right? Nah! Its a  normal procedure if you travel by Indian Rail). Quite naturally I had to forego my favorite upper berth in the deal.

My worst nightmare was coming true and I was to spend 2 whole nights dangling between two other people. The inconvenience was aggravated considering I am a tall man. What 5’11 should be by Indian standards Huh? Normally I enjoy traveling by train but this berth fiasco was making my journey worrisome. After much calculations I figured out that once in the berth I have to stay in there come what may. So without much of a choice I climbed into the berth surprisingly with less difficulty actually my height(you know right?) helped with the job.  Once I settled(I mean lied down) in I found it was not that ‘dreadful’ infact it was cosy as the AC was not directly pointed to me like its at the Upper berths(by the end of night you are frozen unless you are wrapped in all the covers provided by Railways). The light and other switches were easily accessible. The best part was the cell phone charging point was completely under my control so I took charge of it and drifted into the lalala land.

In the middle of the night I woke to some hushed voices and some hand groping near my head searching something. I would have jumped in normal circumstances but remember I was in a train in the dreaded middle berth where one cannot even situp straight. So I moved my head slightly to look what the issue was and saw a PYT(ahem well she was not so young but she was pretty) smiling sheepishly. She politely said that she needs to charge her phone and the cell phone charging point under my control was supposedly the only working point in the vicinity. Had to oblige with a smile and said that She can come back after sometime when the phone’s charged. But she continued to wait right there saying that in her earlier journey the cell phone was gone when she returned after sometime so she was fine keeping a watch meanwhile I can continue my sleep.

Sleep! How can a man sleep peacefully with a pretty woman standing at your head. Still I closed my eyes but kept twisting and turning till she was gone for good.  I woke up early in the morning but could not climb out of my berth because everybody else was sleeping and once out of berth I would not be having any place to sit(take a look at picture again figure people sleeping! Clear!). Rest is history as they as say. So thats the end of the story because the next night was eventless and I got a somewhat peaceful sleep in the middle berth.

So whats the moral of the story? I think at times in life things are not thats bad at it seems and sometimes when we are left with no choices then we should make best of what we get. I can’t get preachy and all that, so never mind the lesson. Finally if you are just curious about what happened to the pretty woman well I gave her some free advice on how to bring her boyfriend in line 😀 so that he marries her soon.

PS: Ok the last line is purely fictional in reality we never spoke again the entire journey. But my mom played the Agony Aunt and did give the necessary advice as she was asked for one. Ever heard it happens only in India!

PPS: This is second in the series …wait for more ….

Me & My Heart Part-1

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706280-Baby040_smallDoesn’t the title sound more like “Main aur meri tanhai”(tr: Me & My Solitude) from the Classic film Silsila(1981). Well I am no Gulzar saab so don’t even think about it. It just about Me & My heart. Interested? Read on.

It was a ‘normal’ Friday like any other weekend I played Table Tennis(Ping Pong) for a long time after office and returned home as usual. Like every Friday night I was looking forward for ‘late night’ sessions but I felt very tired maybe too much of TT and it was gruelling week as well work wise. So instead usual stuff like TV or computer I hit the sack.

I was lying for sometime but sleep seemed to elude me, actually it happens if you try to sleep early on a Friday night. But I was not having the energy to get up so I lied down. In order to make myself fall asleep I started counting in mind 1,2,3….100…200… lost patience started reverse count 200…100…reached 1 but still no sleep. So I started remembering my Gods Shiva, Krishna, Ma Durga, Baba Lokenath etc ….by now my mind was going haywire with frustration and my heart started responding by beating faster. It happens my heart is very responsive it beats faster whether its a hottie or a grumpy manager or in slog-overs of KKR/India. But hey there were no such ‘exciting’ moments so why was it racing? I ignored because at that point my heart was not important my sleep was.

I could hear Bahadur( our area night watchman – the Jaagte Raho guy) blowing his whistle and hitting the lampposts with his stick to drive away the ‘demons’. That meant it was around 1.30 AM. My heart was actually going really fast and was feeling breathless and I was clueless. I was trying different postures but nothing was comforting and I was actually feeling hot and sweating though the fan was on. Now I felt time to wake-up others as things didn’t seem OK as I was feeling hungry and sweating profusely now and I felt it was the end of my story. But I didn’t want to disturb my parents and hoped that things will be fine.

But Dil hai ki manta hi nahi(tr: Heart is not listening), BTW heart never listens right. After much dilemma I slowly woke up my mom as she has sleeping pills and asked her for them. She was surprised and asked if anything was wrong I just said that I unable to sleep so. But you know a mom she would sense and prodded for the reason of sleeplessness. I calmly said nothing just a little palpitation as it already 3 Am and no sleep. She quickly gave me a pill said to take half and gave a tablet to put under my tongue to reduce the palpitations. After sometime still the situation was not under control she gave me the other half sleeping pill and came to my bed and started caressing my chest and praying after all it was her son’s matter of heart. This time things seemed to work maybe that what mothers are for and didnot know when sleep finally overpowered my heart, mind and body.

to be continued…..

Me & My Heart Part-2

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Next morning well technically same morning I woke up at 9 AM and was feeling a little better the sleep had probably calmed my heart down. But the moment I started doing any activity the heart was pounding. My parents told me to see the doc as we should not neglect the matters of heart that too now-a-days. So quite reluctantly I went to see the doc. Who examined and saw the BP was high and said to go and get an ECG(Electrocardiogram) done.

So I went to ECG room with my Dad and the technician mistook my Dad for the patient which was quite natural coz nobody expects a ‘normal’ young guy going for Cardiac tests. So after ECG the doctor said things seem to be fine and he gave me some tablets and said to see him after 5 days.  I was on treatment though I was feeling better but still the heart would start pounding at the slightest provocation.

I went to see the doctor again in 5 days and after examining me said that apparently things seem to be fine but it’ll be good if  I go for a couple of tests like Echo Cardiogram and TMT. Though I thought it was unnecessary but like I said parents wanted to be sure and since we have a family history of cardiac problems so I had to relent.

I called up the centre and was given an appointment on morning 8 AM now that was a torture because you see to reach the centre by 8 I had to start at 7 that meant waking up at 6.30 which seemed impossible but with Mom at helm nothing was impossible so I was there at the centre though 30 mins late. Let me tell you I am generally very punctual and never missed flights or trains because they were all in the second half of the day not ‘early’ morning never. Again the dilemma occurred and the attendant started leading my dad and was surprised to see me as the patient.

They said first they’ll do Echo test and then TMT and the cardiologist was a smiling lady who said to me go nude I mean she told me to remove my shirt. See what I had to do for my heart I mean I am not Salman Khan or Arnold but there I had to take my shirt off in front of parai(unknown) lady. Just was wondering what happens to women patients anyway I was told to lie down in a particular posture she started the test and asked few routine question like why was I there in first place etc. Which I answered sincerely. Meanwhile she was speaking with her colleague regarding some issue with commission and referrals. Then she asked me about my mother tongue and seemed relieved to know that she was not speaking in my mother tongue but what she didn’t realize is that though I don’t speak any of the South Indian languages but do understand most of them(psst… don’t tell anybody…it helps me a lot when people reveal their darkest secrets in front of me without fear). During the Echo test I listened to my heart actually I had listened to my heart once earlier when in my home town I had visited our family doctor for some tummy problem(thats most common reason for my doctor visits till date. what else do you expect from a foodie?). So doctor uncle had held the stethoscope to my ears and said to listen to my heart  and it sounded so rhythmic. It was nice to hear my heart once again. Don’t they say we should listen to our heart always well I think we should.

After Echo test I was told by the cardiologist to go to another room for the next test. When I started putting my shirt on she told I have to remove it again so do I need to put it on. I nodded yes because obviously I was no Macho like John Abraham or Daniel Craig and didn’t want to walk bare chested through the reception full of different people moreover the receptionist was married anyway. The TMT is a Treadmill Stress Test and I was wired up and was told to walk on treadmill for about 11 mins at different speeds and elevation. It was quite easy for me as I was already used to treadmills at gym but this time it was with all the wires listening to my heart and trying to figure out its secrets. The cardiologist asked what medication was I on and she said that the doctor had started the medicine without any diagnosis didn’t know whether she was questioning my doctor or complimenting  his prudence. She said report was normal except for one small issue for which I should continue the prescribed medicine.

I went back to the doctor with the reports and he looked at them and started thinking and scratching his beard and was silent. I knew I myself don’t understand my heart how come a doctor will. But my father was getting tense and then the doctor said everything is normal except a small situation or condition. Which he said is not a problem and told a very difficult name for the condition. Why do medical names have to be so cryptic I thought. BTW neither me or my Dad remember the name. Anyway he said that I have to continue the medicine and my heart has grown a little bigger. He explained like we workout to build our biceps similarly the heart muscles had grown a bit. I was wondering what workout did I do previously that built my heart muscles instead of biceps. My dad asked the doctor how did it happen the doctor said it happens in some people and we need not worry and just need to keep taking the medicine to bring back my heart to shape and checking up with a cardiologist once a year or so to ensure everything is fine.

He also said no lifestyle changes required but he would like me to reduce my weight. ahem I myself wanted to do that. Well as the medicines bring back my heart to size clinically don’t you think its always great to have a very big heart literally. Finally if I have disappointed with ‘clinical’ details of my heart rather than a juicy post about my heart’s condition please forgive me afterall it is the story of  Me & My Heart.

PS: You see this is one of the reason why you find me missing from the blogosphere off late. Actually I have started gyming and cannot be up late night and my work is on full swing so no time there as well. So you may find me absent for sometime but I’ll be back with a new vigour. Also an earnest request don’t write “Get well soon” comments as the doctor said its not any disease and I am quite fine just need to be little watchful of my heart.

Tag Dasa : Double Dhamaka

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Ashwini had tagged on 1st October and here I am with them very late I know but still better late than never.

TAG #01 : Innocent… or Guilty?

RULE 1- You can only say Guilty or Innocent.

RULE 2- You are not allowed to explain anything unless someone messages you and asks!

RULE 3- Copy and paste this into your notes , delete my answers, type in your answers and tag to your friends to answer this.

1. Asked someone to marry you? Innocent
2. Ever kissed someone of the same sex? Guilty.
3. Danced on a table in a bar? Innocent.
4. Ever told a lie? Guilty.
5. Had feelings for someone whom you can’t have back? Innocent.
6. Kissed a picture? Innocent.
7. Slept in until 5 PM? Guilty.
8. Fallen asleep at work/school? Guilty.
9. Held a snake? Innocent.
10. Been suspended from school? Innocent.
11. Worked at a fast food restaurant? Innocent.
12. Stolen from a store? Innocent.
13. Been fired from a job? Innocent.
14. Done something you regret? Innocent
15. Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? Guilty.
16. Caught a snowflake on your tongue? Innocent.
17. Kissed in the rain? Innocent.
18. Sat on a roof top? Guilty.
19. Kissed someone you shouldn’t? Innocent.
20. Sang in the shower? Guilty.
21. Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? Innocent.
22. Shaved your head? Innocent.
23. Had a boxing membership? Innocent.
24. Made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? Innocent.
25. Been in a band? Innocent.
26. Shot a gun? Guilty.
27. Donated Blood? Guilty.
28. Eaten alligator meat? Innocent.
29. Eaten cheesecake? Guilty.
30. Still love someone you shouldn’t? Innocent.
31. Have/had a tattoo? Innocent.
32. Liked someone, but will never tell who? Innocent.
33. Been too honest? Guilty.
34. Ruined a surprise? Innocent.
35. Ate in a restaurant and got really bloated that you couldn’t walk afterwards? Guilty.
36. Erased someone in your friends list? Innocent.
37. Dressed in a woman’s clothes (if you’re a guy) or man’s clothes (if you’re a girl)? Innocent.
38. Joined a pageant? Innocent.
39. Been told that you’re handsome or beautiful by someone who totally meant what they said? Innocent.
40. Had communication with your ex? Innocent.
41. Got totally drunk on the night before exam? Innocent.
42. Got totally angry that you cried so hard? Guilty.

Guilty for just 13/42 …How boring 😛

TAG #02 : How DUMB are you?
The more [x]’ s the “dumber” you are.

[x] Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were talking
[  ] Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were NOT talking
[  ] You have ran into a glass/screen door
[x] You have jumped out of a moving vehicle
[x] You have thought of something funny while walking by yourself
[   ] Laughed, then watched people give you weird looks
[x] You have run into a tree/bush.(Actually I ran into a lamppost)
[  ] You know that it IS possible to lick your elbow
[  ] You have tried to lick your elbow… a few times
[  ] You never knew that the Alphabet and Twinkle Twinkle Little star have the same rhythm.
[  ] You just tried to sing them.

So far: 4

[x] You have tripped on your shoelace and fallen.
[  ] You have choked on your own spit .
[  ] You have seen the Matrix and still don’t get it.
[  ] You’ve never seen the Matrix.
[x] You type only with two fingers.
[  ] You have accidentally caught something on fire
[  ] You tried to drink out of a straw, but it went into your nose/eyes.
[  ] You have caught yourself drooling.
[  ] You have fallen asleep in class and fell outta your chair

So far: 6

[x] Sometimes you just stop thinking
[x] You are telling a story and forget what you were talking about
[  ] People often shake their heads and walk away from you
[  ] You are often told to use your “inside voice”.
[  ] You use your fingers to do simple math
[  ] You have eaten a bug
[x] You are taking this test when you should be doing something more important
[x] You have put your clothes on backwards or inside out, and didn’t realize it
[x] You’ve looked all over for something and realized it was in your hand
[  ] You have ran around naked in your house.

So far: 11

[  ] You repost bulletins because you are scared that what they say will happen to you if you don’t.
[x] You break a lot of things.
[x] Your friends know not to use big words around you.
[   ] You tilt your head when you’re confused
[   ] You have fallen out of your chair before
[  ] When you’re lying in bed, you try to find pictures in the texture of the ceiling or wall
[x] The word “ummmmm” is used many times a day.

TOTAL: 14

So I am (14/37)*100 = 37.8% DUMB ! Not Bad eh ?

Whoever hasn’t done this one please do this one.

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